I told Lilly that this is not something new: friends in a group starting a romantic relationship separate from their peers. So, before your table of three becomes a table of one (and you end up drinking for a table of four), check out my top three quick and dirty tips for how to handle close friends who start dating, leaving you as the third wheel: The first thing Lilly told me was how she wasn’t too thrilled that Sarah and Kiel started dating and how their “group” didn’t involve her the way it did before.
We exchanged probably a dozen emails and, in about ten of them, I kept saying, “Well, aren’t you happy for them?
Approach them either separately or together, whatever you feel more comfortable doing, and just say that you love both of them and you’re so happy for both of them, but you feel a little left out.
And yet, every single person out there who's ever been invited out with her bestie and her bestie's boo continues to third wheel it, convincing themselves that things will be different this time around.
Although most couples have their own “couples shorthand” and private jokes, as long as the individual is brought into the loop, it’s fine. If your friends are absorbed in the throes of their budding romance, wait a bit. Eventually they ought to settle down and even if their relationship is strong and growing stronger, they should be able to interact with outsiders in a more evenhanded way.
Alright, so this is a pretty unusual situation as far as things like this go. I understand where you’re coming from – no one likes to feel like a third wheel.
So, now she felt like an “outsider” or “third wheel.” When she said that, it reminded me of an a article I wrote called at that.
I totally understand where she’s coming from, but Lilly can’t let that affect the way she acts around them.